I feel each heartbeat as though it is going to break through my chest.
I am so tired. Why am I so tired?! I proceed to go through my day and realize why...I am busy.
I take care of others all day. I enjoy it. I wouldn't choose anything else. But then there are those moments it isn't rewarding. It is spirit-crushing. The huge load I feel I hold above my head is starting to get heavy. It is going to take me out if I don't get help soon. My knees wobble. My eyes spill the tears I have been holding back. My arms are trembling so violently any minute the load will come crashing down and scatter into a million pieces.
I cry out for help.
It comes. Peace surrounds me. I almost physically feel the load being pushed up with no help from me. I hear the words, "It's going to be okay."
I don't even know how any of this can be okay, but I trust it.
I am not alone. He knows. He understands. Somehow He makes it possible. I am reminded I matter. I am one of many, but I am still singular in being...me. I am left better than I was only moments ago.
Nothing is different. I still have the load to carry. It just seems lighter somehow. I know I am not walking this path alone. I need constant reminders. I try to hold it alone too often.
Today I know I can do it. Tomorrow I will remind myself again. The time will come again when I need someone else to remind me...because my voice doesn't seem enough...but His is.