In the craziness of life it feels sometimes we make life harder for ourselves...but also others.
We make judgements thinking we understand and, at least for me, we are quickly humbled.
The last two years I have felt Heavenly Father trying to teach me something very, very valuable. Loving people is more important than anything. I mean anything.
It is easy to sit on our lofty places thinking terrible thoughts that we feel justified in feeling. Then quickly we are knocked off our self-proclaimed pedestal into the dirt and grim for which we felt was so important to judge someone else.
Even when I feel I have learned my lesson, here I am again in the muck of thoughts I didn't even notice I was having.
On the flip side, it is painful when people make assumptions about you. When you feel that people misunderstand you and don't even care if you bring it to their attention.
Why are we so blasted mean to each other?!
When those of us that have struggled with our faith, hope, or anything spiritual it hurts when others just basically tell you to suck it up and just have faith.
That's not how it works.
Deep down I think I have more faith than I thought. But sometimes it is difficult to weather storms and we buckle under the pressure.
Does that mean we are useless?
Absolutely not!
All I need in those moments of weakness is someone to care. I realize we are human and we miss opportunities to be there for people...in my case probably more than I should. But when you are literally crying out for help and all you get is a "fear and faith" lecture, it makes it even harder to make it through.
Is it easy to love people who don't seem struggle? Is it easy to love people who don't get angry? Is it easy to love people when they seem to "get over" things quickly?
Of course...but is that the point of life? To love the easy to love?
The hardest people to love usually are the people who need it more. Maybe the last two years have made me extra sensitive to this. I know I wasn't easy to love while I struggled. But does that mean I deserved to be abandoned until I behave myself?
In the race of life, if we stumble several times it gets harder and harder to get up. Sometimes we can hop up and dust ourselves off. Sometimes we can fight to stand up. But sometimes it hurts so bad it is nearly impossible to stand back up...and in those moments we need to be lifted.
I don't think I rose to the occasion to help those around me as much as I think I was given opportunities. I know I will let people down...as we all do. I just hope it isn't often and that the Lord will be patient with me and keep sending people my way even though I don't deserve so many chances to change.
I know we can't be perfect, but I do wonder what life would be like if we were just nicer to each other. I know I look back and see how I could handle things better. If only I could have caught the vision in the moment. But I can only hope that these last few years of pain will give me a lifetime of compassion.
