One of my first memories of Christian was at a park. Our church had an activity and I watched as some crazy boy ran around the park instead of joining in the picnic food.
When we had our first child, Christian ran his first marathon. I begrudgingly let him train...I was a new mom and very overwhelmed. But as I hustled with my tiny boy in my arms to the finish-line I was so worried I had missed him coming in...but unluckily for Christian he had injured himself and had to walk...so he didn't come in the 3 hour mark he had wanted. But lucky for me I got to see him finish.
The crowd, the runners, and the excitement of a huge accomplishment filled the air and I realized this is amazing!!
Christian stopped running after that...I was actually a little disappointed. Especially since he had a gift for running that I envied.
The most amazing part of Christian running that marathon was that there was a time Christian never thought he would be able to run...or do anything again.
Around 21 Christian became very sick. He was so sick his family was taking him to the doctor constantly asking for answers. At one of the lowest points he had to curl up on the floor of his father's office so his dad could keep an eye on him.
Hope of a wife, family, and health seemed to be slipping away.
Answers came...very slowly. But they came.
After his first marathon Christian did eventually start running again. He was training while I was pregnant with Declan. Some of my favorite memories are going to his races while I was pregnant with little buddy.
When Declan died Christian's healing came through his running. He inspired me to run as well...only my body gave out on me halfway through my goal to running a half marathon.
A few days after we got back for the funeral we packed up our kids and headed to a race early one morning. I still remember standing there feeling strange to be back at a race...only not with Declan there.
I feel Declan close when I run...probably because it is so hard for me. But Christian does too.
A few months after Declan died Christian ran his second marathon. He was in great shape and was running wonderfully, but as though it were a reflection of our disappointment not bringing Declan home, Christian got hurt...really hurt.
I knew something was terribly wrong. He wasn't coming. I hurried to find him along the path...but received a phone call to hurry back...Christian had finished.
I watched the film of Christian hobbling toward the finish-line. I knew he was was disappointed. He had wanted to finish better than his last marathon...only to barely be able to walk.
He hobbled his whole last 5k...I don't know how he did it. He told me later he knew if he had sat down he would never get back up again.
Yesterday Christian ran a 5k...and won it...
I can't express how much that meant to me to see him work so hard and win a race. But as we were pulling away in the rain we watched as the half marathon was starting to come into the finish-line. Everyone cheered. Then we traveled the course back up as the rain pounded. The enthusiasm waned as I watched people struggle to get through their races. Some were in groups and just helping each other along...others were alone and looked determined not to let the rain beat them.
Then the end of the racers...a few stranglers. One girl seemed to be crying. As I watched these people struggle I almost started to cry. They weren't going to get a ribbon for winning. They weren't going to get recognition in an award ceremony...they were just trying to finish.
I love running...but I'm terrible at it. I love that it has so many life lessons woven through it. As I watched Christian barely finish a race to winning one...I realized how much people who are on the other side are cheering us on. "Keep going!" I'm sure they shout. Empathy riddles them as they watch us struggle on our rain-drenched paths we struggle to keep going down. Just like Christian if we sit down we know we may not get back up.
That was my biggest fear after Declan died...not living again.
I hope that their loved ones were waiting for them to finish and cheer loudly as they crossed the finish-line so many hours after the race had been won. As someone who doesn't come in the top 20 I know how it feels just to finish...the accomplishment of doing what I felt was the impossible.
And I thank Heavenly Father for helping Christian to be able to do what he loves.