I have been feeling much better. It has been quite frankly fantastic.
I had a little bump in the road. My sweet friend stopped by Declan's grave and sent me a picture of some of her kids around his stone. I admired it with tear filled eyes. It meant a lot. Then I looked closely and realized nothing was there. I asked her if anything was there. She said no.
I posted how his light and flowers had been taken before. But now everything. The statue my mom put out there that sat there almost all last year. The little turtle from my kids. My pot of flowers and two lights.
It hurt. I felt like someone was purposely hurting us.
My poor friend felt bad, but it wasn't her fault.
I called my sister. She patiently listened to me cry. Then my mom.
I felt stupid crying over a bunch of silly inexpensive trinkets I placed out on his grave. But that was my way of showing him, that I don't get to do often, that he isn't forgotten. I love him. And we will never stop thinking of him. I know Declan knows this and a few lights and flowers isn't that important, but I don't understand why. Why would someone take those things? I stayed on my cement dutifully. There was no reason it should all be gone. I am a rule follower. I must follow rules. So when I heard cement I did only cement.
The last time I know wasn't the cemetery. Everything was in his vase. Someone just took it.
When I put out my new stuff I thought, "Please don't take my stuff."
That wish wasn't granted.
What I didn't expect, but should have, was everyone I told asked me what I wanted there. They were ready to go get something there. I wasn't sure I wanted anything else taken, so I told them not to worry. But it touched my heart how many we're willing to help. I was helpless, far away, and they wanted to soothe the pain.
I am blessed!
