Certain times in my life have felt more breakable than others. Lately I feel much stronger than I have in a long time. Today though I had a fragile day. I have no idea why, but I was brimming with tears as I left for church.
I forced myself to walk outside to my car.
I approached the building telling myself...really Christy it doesn't matter. Your husband and kids still love you...no matter what you look like today.
I took a deep breath and reminded myself that this was not why I was there...to feel beautiful.
I busied myself with arranging my belongings and children. Accidentally my entire family placed themselves a seat away from me...I tried hard not to make a scene.
I was seriously in the moment of trying not to feel so stupid about my silly fragile feelings when I looked up as a woman smiled at me. I automatically smiled...I'm not sure how. Then I wondered if her smile was meant for me. I turned to Christian. Then I looked back at her and Christian had made eye contact and greeted her.
I figured I was right...it was meant for Christian. She smiled and said hi to him. I didn't think much about it and then as she walked by me she paused. Placing her and on me and leaning in she told me how beautiful I was.
I don't even know what I said in response...probably something very lame...but inside I knew that she was sent to me today.
Tears pricked my eyes as I wanted so bad to reach behind me and hug her for helping me.
I know many would think it was a coincidence, but I felt so strongly that it was a sweet reminder that I'm loved by Him...even when I'm being childish.
The rest of church was amazing. I feel stupid that I let it bug me today. I usually push passed it...there are so many better things to think about...but today it got the best of me.
It was good for me and very humbling that even when I'm weak and silly I'm still loved by my Father in Heaven.
