Bedtime is my least favorite part of the day. Many times I have found myself rushing through as each second ticks off my head screaming, "You're losing time!"
By the time my kids are asleep and I am able to relax for the night I start feeling bad for how crazy bedtime was.
Last night neither of my kids went to bed. Six, seven, even eight o'clock went by and still no one was asleep.
Typically I lose it. My frustration gets the best of me and I bark orders to get into bed.
Last night I didn't.
I calmly told them I would see them in the morning.
Did they go to bed?
No.
Finally, Bryce begged to sleep in my bed. He was struggling to sleep. Worrying is common for him. Last night was a bad night in that regard.
Emmy had napped yesterday, so she was wide awake and not wanting her own bed either.
I let Christian off the hook so he could get some sleep. He found a quiet place away from the craziness.
As I laid in between my kids, they had been unable to stop talking when they were next to each other, I realized that was right where I wanted to be.
Emmy was hiccuping as she nestled right next to my ear. Every thirty seconds I felt a jolt and then *puff* of air from Emmy's little girl nose. Then Bryce was curled up on my other side giggling in the other ear every time Emmy hiccuped.
It was ten thirty, insane and I loved every minute of it!!
We went to Lowe's the other day to look at a few things and as we progressed through the store an elderly couple walked by and caught our eye. They were looking admiringly at Emmy.
Christian and I smiled at them. They smiled back and replied, "Our daughter had hair just like that." Referring to the chaotic mess of golden curls on my sweet Emmy.
We chatted for a minute and then went on our way. A little while later we ran into them again. Christian struck up another conversation with the woman. He asked where their daughter was now. They replied on a mission for our church.
Christian asked for what church and realized they were LDS. It was cute to listen to their daughters adventures in another country where she was serving.
At the end of the conversation Christian asked if it had gone fast. She paused for a second and then said, "You know it did. Enjoy them while they are this little soon she will be off doing her own things and all grown up."
As she left I thought about life once my kids were grown. I'm sure there will be wonderful times ahead. But I know I will miss the time they are tiny and discovering the world.
Someday Emmy won't inform me that she did something, "by her big girl self."
How grateful I am for the two of them. They have been my little light at the end of very difficult days.
I love little reminders from those that have walked our path before us. This time is precious. My dad often reminisces of the time when my sisters and I were young. I can tell those were sweet days for him.
How I wish I could freeze time right here. I love them both right where they are. But each new year I love them even more...so maybe it isn't bad that we must go on and grow up.
