I really have wondered if all my thoughts have been sucked out of me...I'm blank.
I haven't really known what to blog about lately. I guess that is a good thing...I'm starting to live again.
I don't need my blog the way I did before...it was one of the only ways I could relieve the pressure building. Now I am not feeling that push to write at least about my struggles.
I suppose that means I should start writing about happy things...
Hmm...
Maybe I'm just one big drama queen and can't express myself in any other way.
Hope that's not it.
I have been pushing myself a lot more lately to do what I want...not just what gets me by.
I went to the movies last week because my kids and I were feeling blue. It was a nice change of pace...instead of grabbing ice cream and feeling sorry for myself.
On the way home today the sky was amazing. I tried to take a picture with my phone but it did not capture the beautiful small rainbow reflecting off a huge gleaming light.
It was a cheerful sight. Bryce even commented about it. I thought to myself as I continued home, "That's much better."
It feels good to have a break sometimes. Grief feels like a full time job...I needed a vacation!
I have really felt the healing start to happen lately as I have tried to find my way. I'm slow...and really frustrated that I'm not progressing better, but I am getting there. I am glad for the baby steps...though they are agony sometimes.
All in all, we're doing better. I actually feel like I can breathe...seriously. My lungs have felt like a ten pound brick had been placed there...not pleasant.
It's a nice change.
