I have struggled more with this pregnancy than the other two combined. It has been one of the hardest things I've ever done. As the end is nearing, I don't want to rush through it, but I can't seem to help it. This is likely my last baby (I don't know if Christian can handle worrying about me 4th time) and I want to cherish every minute I have left. But I am having a hard time feeling well enough to get up and get dressed each day.
I am grateful though that Heavenly Father has blessed our lives with kids. I look at the two I already have and see little pieces of Christian and I in them and my heart melts. It is a miracle!
7 weeks left (knock on wood there's actually less!!) and I can't believe it. For so long I felt like it would never come and here Oct is next month! :) I remember right before I had Emma I thought how weird it was going to be to have two. Now it feels like she has always been with us. In 7 weeks I'll probably feel the same way about this little sprout (who's name I have no clue).
I appreciate all your prayers and sweet comments! Even though there isn't much people can do, it means so much when you offer!
I had thought I had 7 more weeks, but really I only had less than 3. How strange our perception is during the moment...now that pregnancy felt like it was a mere whirlwind...leaving me empty handed.
It has been interesting and read back over the posts I wrote about my pregnancy with Declan. I spoke about his more than anyone's. I started my private blog when I was almost having Emmy. Then I started this blog a year almost to the day later. I am very grateful I wrote.
I am hoping next year when I read this last year that I will be able to feel at peace. I am hopeful that I may be ending up there. I had a few horrible weeks the last few and now I am feeling peace overcome me.
A lady in my church told me that she spent the year anniversary of her father's death with her siblings and mom. Her mom told them, "We've had a year of mourning, now let's have a year of gratitude."
I don't have a ton of pictures pregnant with Declan. Usually I love pictures, but when I am pregnant I totally forget to take them. This picture was snapped by CJ with his phone. I didn't care for it at the time, but now I am so grateful for it...though it is not great quality. I loved that maternity shirt. I loved that little boy so much! I didn't even know if he was a boy or a girl...I just loved the sweet baby growing inside of me.
Christian wouldn't let me pick the name Declan until baby was born...he's been that way every time we have a baby. But in my heart...I had already fell in love with the name Declan...and now it hold such a special place in my heart.
In 19 days we will have a balloon release. Everyone has been so good to us and I wanted to invite anyone who would like to have their own balloon release...but please don't feel obligated. I would only ask that you send me pictures to my email: ebbinessy@hotmail.com so that I can see all your wonderful faces and balloons. I won't share the pictures unless you want me to. So September 28 at sunset we will let go of our balloons...you are all welcome to share.
I can't ever express the gratitude Christian and I feel for everyone's support in this very difficult year. But as it draws to a close we are hopeful for the future. Thank you all, our hearts are forever touched!