Sadness...

This was the sky over Declan's grave after it hailed and rained on us

As  a kid I always felt I had lived a rather easy life.  I remember as a teenager thinking, when I met a couple at church that had lost their little boy, that I had not experienced anything that hard and was worried when I would.  Many years passed and still nothing that was that devastating...

In the last year my sisters and parents have been hit with huge bombshells...each pounding at us leaving a huge mark where it landed.  I have ducked for cover so many times that I am hesitant to stand up knowing that any day now another will hit...my grandpa is dying.

Our little "bomb shelter" isn't holding as well as I would like.  The bombs are penetrating easily.  Now I'm feeling as though the pieces left of my heart are very fragile and I am trying desperately to tape them together...praying the tape holds.

Through all this sadness...I have realized one thing...I won't survive without prayer.

I got home and felt like I really was about to lose my mind.  The next day I was feeling somewhat better and I noticed...all the time I was gone I had neglected to kneel down and say a prayer.

Though my heart is broken and I'm unsure what to think at this point...I do have peace to know that somehow everything is as it should be...and life will be enjoyable soon.

To all the broken hearts out there...you are not alone...we are never alone.