I smiled at her and slid my fingernail through the opening and popped it open to reveal her baby brother. The necklace was given to me by my sister-in laws. Emmy loves to look at the picture of her beloved brother inside.
I continued to listen to the speaker when Emmy started to quickly slide the locket back and forth. Fearing the chain would snap from the exuberance of my tiny two year old I gently scolded her not to pull my necklace. Her sweet angel face looked up at me showing me her amazing blue eyes and sweetly replied, "But Deck-an likes it Mommy."
My heart stopped. I looked at my daughter and a smile burst from my mouth. She was blaming her naughty behavior on her little brother...just as if he were here. I hugged her tightly. She then told me she wanted Declan and that she loved him.
Often when I wear my locket Emmy will give Declan kisses and tell me, "He sooo coot (cute)."
I leaned over to Christian and told him what Emmy had said. A smile crossed his lips, but I saw the tears pool around his eyes as he thought of our infant son. No tear left his heart-stopping aqua eyes, but I knew that it was a bittersweet moment for him.
Last night I had an almost "tidal wave." I was working on my lesson for church when I was overcome with grief. I had been looking at the manual and suddenly it blurred so much I had to blink away the tears to see again.
Christian was there luckily and wrapped his loving arms around me while I sobbed. It only lasted a brief moment...for which I am immensely grateful. When it began I thought, "Oh no here it comes again and I won't be able to stop it."
The moment passed and I was able to finish preparing my lesson. But the tender emotions stayed with me all night into today. I was very raw all day. When I got home from church I had to take a two hour nap to recover from the traumatizing night.
I was grateful I was able to stand and give my lesson when my emotions were bubbling so close to the surface all day. I know my Heavenly Father was mindful that I was doing the best that I had to give. I am indeed grateful that I had the Spirit there helping me along today or I might not have made it through on my own.
