A few people have expressed their guilt for having their sweet baby's saved while mine was not. It is so kind and thoughtful for them to care so much about us. I know if the roles were reversed I would feel very similar.
I hate for people to think that though. Their little angel was meant to come here. There is something they needed to be here to do. My little Declan for some reason was not.
In moments of weakness my heart hurts thinking of how many babies are saved. Moments were all that stood between Declan and I. He slipped away as he was supposed to be giving his first cry. I actually watched a show about a woman who didn't even know she was pregnant. Without any prenatal care she delivered a healthy baby girl at 36 weeks. My heart dropped as I thought that was how far along I was when Declan was delivered, but I was being carefully watched over.
I have to remind myself that it wasn't meant to be. My little boy was not meant for this world. I recieve comfort each time I think of this.
So to all of you feeling guilty because you have a sweet tiny baby in your arms while I don't, everything is as it should be. Enjoy your bundle of sweetness, I would if Declan were here. Thank you for your concern. It means the world to me. I love you all!
