I pushed through this roadblock a few months ago. Suddenly the world seemed more possible. The more I attempt the more I desire to change.
One of the most noticeable goals is running. I head out excited to put a few miles behind me. My friend Jaime has become a great motivator. She gives me the accountability to get out of bed yawning as I laced up my running shoes. The miles do not seem as long as we chat. I probably chatter on excessively, but it is nice to have adult conversation once in a while.
I was feeling worn out and not wanting to make dinner tonight. My other sweet friend brought me dinner. I cannot express how much she answered my unspoken prayer. What would I do without my wonderful friends? I think I would be a very lost soul.
My first 5k has come and gone. As I prepare for my 10k I think about what I need to do to accomplish it. I ran the 5k all by myself. It was wonderful to accomplish it all by myself. I did all the preparing and ran it all alone. But this 10k I want support. I want someone to keep me going as I start to feel the burn in my legs and my lungs constrict. So hopefully it works out that I can have Jaime run with me.
I am thinking of starting a project. It is still in the thinking process...but my friend, who is also an angel baby mommy, wants to make blankets and give them to the hospital she delivered at for the moms that lose babies. I had been thinking something similar to the hospital I delivered at - only omitting the part where I make the blankets. I don't sew. I was thinking of buying blankets and having them embroidered with a sweet thought about our love for the baby we have to say goodbye. I think I'll call them Declan's Blankets. Honestly it was one of my favorite things I received because I needed something to cuddle in the night when I sobbed because my arms were empty. The blanket temporarily filled my aching arms and I would just bury my face into it as I let myself inhale where my sweet baby was placed inside right after birth.
We had an amazing friend that actually brought us 3 blankets. Christian and I both ended up picking one and wrapped Declan at different times in each. Then we had a third that he stayed in on his trip to our hometown where he was buried. I have all three now. Christian's is tucked away. My third one is in the lovely box I have mentioned before. And mine...well...I am the only one that pulls mine out and sleeps with it most nights. I put mine away for about a month, but it is back out. I'm not surprised. I still have my baby blanket from when I was young that I affectionately named, "Mimi." (Bryce now calls it by name whenever I ask him to pick it up or grab it for me)
So it is still in the thought process. But I definitely want to donate on my sweet Declan's birthday. I want super cozy warm blankets. The softer the better. It needs to be cuddly for the aching mommy. If anyone knows the best place to get inexpensive Minky blankets I would be grateful. I have several months to figure this out. But I want to donate about ten blankets or so when I go in (so I have to plan accordingly). This is yet another one of my goals/projects. Yes, I know I sound like a crazy person with thirty things juggling up in the air but trust me it keeps me going and quite honestly happy.
