It was a good visit. I took a lot of video so that someday my kids will get to see their great grandpa. I am sad that they most likely won't remember him. Bryce is old enough that he might. I remember my great grandma and I was about his age when we moved away before she died.
It's interesting since I had never lost anyone until Declan I never wanted to think about anyone in my life dying. I feel like Declan's death has prepared me to say goodbye to my grandpa. Though it isn't any easier to say goodbye, I can do it. It doesn't scare me when funeral arrangements are spoken of that I think I would typically shy away from. I keep finding things that I am grateful for that Declan's life has taught me.
As our trip came to a close we said goodbye to our families. Emmy got to hold her little baby cousin. It warmed my heart and broke it at the same time. Out of all the little girls in the world, Emmy who loves babies so very much, had to lose her baby brother. She read her a story, held her, and played with her. I took a videos of it all. I almost burst into tears when I saw it.
We packed up and headed home. About the last hour Emmy was done. She called out to both Christian and I, "Daddy I want you! Mommy I want you! I want to sit by you!" Poor girl, she wanted out of her seat so bad. So I turned off the movie and played some soft music. She settled down and fell asleep. She is such a trooper. Bryce was very quiet the whole trip. He played games, watched shows, and just looked out the window. Every once in a while he would ask, "Are we there yet?" But he was very good as well. My thoughts unwillingly think of how difficult that trip would have been with a three month old...but I try not to let that stay too long.
I was grateful for the trip we were able to take. It was a good experience for my kids as well as for Christian and I. How I am grateful for eternal families...one of the many amazing ways our Heavenly Father shows his love for us.
