Babies are so precious, ever single piece of them. I remember when Bryce was born I would just watch him sleep because I was in awe of the tiny creature that came into my world. Now I long for the chance to have a baby hand wrap around my finger, to hear that little newborn cry that is meant for me, and the little legs that love to kick and ball up so that the baby looks tinier than they actually are.
After I turned my computer off I heard my kids yelling at each other. I went upstairs and asked them to come over to me. I sat on the top stair and pulled both of them into a huge hug and begged them not to fight. The actually listened to me. Bryce asked me what was wrong and I told him I was missing Declan really bad. The rest of the day he was pretty good.
Last night I was conveying my struggle to Christian while Emmy was still awake. I started to cry again and she crawled up on my lap. Her favorite thing to do is stand beside me while I'm sitting. She will put her arm around my neck and then pat me on the cheek while she tilts her head and talks in her "mommy" voice. Most of what she says is completely inaudible, it is so high pitched and softly spoken I have no clue what she is saying. But I lean my head on her tiny shoulder and oddly I feel comforted by my young daughter. Once in a while she was softly caress my face and tell me gently, "Okay...sweetheart...okay..."
What I would do without my children?...I have no idea.