I read the Christmas story from Matthew in the New Testament this morning. I read the part about the wise men and that Herod was so angry they did not return to him that he ordered children two and younger to be killed. I had always known about this since I was a teenager, but now as a parent I cannot imagine how awful that must have been. My heart broke as I thought of someone busting into my home and taking my child.
I visited the hospital yesterday and thought of all those that are going to be there over Christmas. I can't imagine spending the holiday in a hospital room. I am very grateful to be home with my family.
This year I don't care about anything but being with my family. I told Christian that I know it's cheesy, but I just want him for Christmas. I want to spend the day in our PJs and cuddle watching Christmas movies. I love that we will have a few days just be a family and not think about work or anything. We can just be together as a family.
Tonight I hope to decorate a gingerbread man and watch a movie with my kids. They have been very clingy lately and neither of them want to sleep in their room. They both want to curl up in my bed and sleep. I probably would typically be annoyed, but there are moments I can't help but love it.
Emmy is always coming up to me and hugging me. She calls me sweetheart and blows me kisses every time she leaves me. At church yesterday she told me she wanted to stay with me and not go to nursery. "But Mommy, I want to stay with you." She told me when I explained she would have a better time in her own class. As a child I had no idea the things I said would mean so much to my parents. When my kids tell me how much they love me nothing can compare to it. It can melt me no matter what mood I am in.
I am so grateful for my children. I love them so dearly. If for some reason we are only meant to have three children I am so grateful for them! I hope that Heavenly Father has more sweet spirits to send to our home because I would love to cradle another one of my babies. I would love to hear the infant cry at birth. I would love to inhale the sweet smell of one more of my babies. But if it isn't meant to be I am grateful for the experience of having my three children. I still remember when we had Bryce over five years ago like it was yesterday. The way Christian looked holding our son is etched in my heart forever. Bryce and Emma both were born screaming so loudly that the hospital staff commented how loud they both were. But the minute they were placed in their dad's arms they stopped. My kids adore their father and it's no mystery why. He is an incredible person. The kindness that radiates from him is undeniable. He is one of the sweetest people I have ever come in contact with and I love that he is not ashamed to be a kind and gentle man.