Sunday is a very special day...

As I was getting ready today for church I squeezed myself into my skirt and looked in the mirror thinking, "Maybe I will just stay home today."  I was completely discouraged that nothing I have really fits but I refuse to put on my maternity clothes.  A thought popped into my head as I mechanically got ready for church that I probably wouldn't be going yet with my tiny newborn if Declan was alive.

I found myself in the car on the way to church feeling flustered and frustrated.  I hurried into church and sat down.  I watched the beautiful family in front of me and my heart warmed as the teenage boy held his four year old brother and quietly played with him.  Their mother held the tiny little boy she had not long ago.  My mood instantly turned from frustrated to warmth surrounding my heart.  I thought of Bryce and hoped he would be as sweet to his little brother as the young man in front of us.  Then I thought of Bryce's little brother and my heart hurt.

When we had been looking for our house we went all over the city and felt we should reside where we do now.  After a few months I wondered why I had been lead to live where we did.  I had been to other parts of the city and wondered why I hadn't liked them.

Then we lost Declan and became very clear why we were in this place.  I have never been on the receiving end of such sweet and selfless service as I have in the last few weeks.

Today at church I had such a wonderful and uplifting time.  I enjoyed the words spoken and felt that I needed to hear them.  In Sunday School we peeked in to the large group and saw that it was full.  So we went into a smaller class and I am so grateful I did.  I think Heavenly Father made it possible for me to attend today.  I sat and listened to the teacher bear his testimony of Jesus Christ.  I felt the power in his words and knew that he truly did believe what he was saying and that it was true.

After class and before my next one a sweet young woman gave me a hug and uttered the sweetest words to me.  It filled my heart with such peace and I feel so redundant saying this all the time, but I was so grateful for her and she will probably never know how much that meant to me.

I sat through a beautiful lesson taught by a woman who has just recently suffered a loss of her mother.  I talked to her afterward about how wonderful her lesson was and then of her mother.  The conversation ended with speaking of Declan and she was so sweet to me.  As I hugged her and tears streamed down both our faces I thought of her own son that died.  I remembered one of my first memories of seeing her in church she had shared a sweet silver lining she had found in losing her son.  I remember thinking how is this woman so positive about such a difficult trial?  She is such a beautiful example of enduring well.

I am grateful that Heavenly Father helped me get to church today.  I wanted to just curl up in bed and sleep, but he nudged me out the door.  I had a really good day.  I have had pretty good days lately, but today was an exceptionally wonderful day.