Dear Declan,
It has been exactly six weeks since we lost you. I have been through a roller coaster of emotions since. It almost has seemed like years since each day has felt like an eternity.
At night when I am all alone, I think about you the most. I wonder, if you were alive, I might be curled up on the couch with you right now watching your sweet baby face as you slept in my arms.
I have now categorize my life as "before Declan" and "after Declan." You have changed my whole life so dramatically that I wonder if I am even the same person. My motivations and thoughts have been altered and I have focused on the more important things in life.
The grief that I carry with me each day is difficult, but it is worth the brief brush with Heaven your coming brought. Never will I wish that away. I'll always be grateful for you - no matter what the cost. A broken heart seems like such a small thing in comparison to having you for my son.
Thank you for giving me a new and better way of looking at life. I have lived through my worst case scenario and now am no longer afraid to live the life Heavenly Father meant me to live.
You will always be in my heart!
Always,
Mommy
