Turn the other cheek...

I have had a rough night tonight.  I was at the store picking up a few items with Christian and I got an unsuspected punch in the gut.  The lady at the register asked me, "When's your little one due?"

I quickly told her I was not expecting, but had quickly to bite my tongue after.

I'm sure she wasn't intending anything by it and she had no idea that her little query was stabbing me in the heart.  But it did.

I went home and cried wishing that I had little Declan to curl up with and soothe my aching heart.

I know people don't mean to be cruel.  I try really hard to think of their side of it.  But part of me, the defiant part, wants to reach over the counter and tell them that maybe they should think before they speak.  I barely have a pooch any more and could really just be an overweight person.  Why did she need to ask?  It is so hard for me to understand.  Even if I see an obviously pregnant person, I never ever say anything unless they bring it up first.

I remembering when I was first pregnant with Declan a lot of people asked me when I was due.  I was barely showing and I thought to myself, "You are lucky that I am actually pregnant."  I had no idea the pain that question would inflict someday.

I was feeling so discouraged after the shopping trip that I wanted to curl in a ball with Declan's blanket and sob on my bed.  But instead I got an overwhelming peace and calm - that I know didn't come from me.  I know that I am not alone and the hard things that keep happening aren't in vain.  The Savior and even Declan know how hard this for me and I know they care - which means more than I can express.