Christian and I had an in depth conversation about being hurt and offended. I have heard several people lump the two together as if they are one and the same. It troubled me deeply since they seemed to find both something we choose and should refrain from. How do you help it if you are hurt by someone's actions? Whether it is on purpose or not it still stings badly; much more when it was on purpose of course.
I then talked to my father-in-law that assured me that getting your feelings hurt is a natural human response and not one that can be helped. Since then I have this theory:
Being offended and hurt are two very different things.
When you are slapped can you help the welt or the terrible throbbing that follows? No. Just as if someone were to cut you emotionally, your hurt feelings are a valid result.
Here's where being offended comes in. If you were to turn around and yell or slap the person back for hitting you then you have chosen to be offended and therefore retaliated for your hurt feelings.
So my thoughts are that the initial pain is not damaging to you, but rather what you choose to do with that pain can be.
Just something to think about.
Christian and I have been talking a lot about forgiveness lately. It has made me reflect on the times I have been wounded by people. Many times in my life I have felt completely disliked. It was not imagined or merely perceived - though at times I hoped or rather wished it were. It left me feeling vulnerable and fragile.
"What did I ever do to them?" was always on my mind.
Lately I have wondered, "Did I truly forgive them?"
I have thought so. But now I'm not so sure.
I tend to avoid people when there is any inkling someone may detest me. I had hoped that was only my way of self preservation - who wants to be with someone who would rather have me absent? I doubt many.
But my only worry has been, in my quest to avoid them am I missing opportunities to love people that despise me? Isn't that what the scriptures teach? Isn't that what Jesus said himself? "But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you." (Luke 6:27 & 28)
Do I care for those who don't care for me? The natural me would say, "NO!" Do I pray for those who injure me? I am sad to say, absolutely not.
After meticulously pondering this I have thought of how many that don't believe in Christ and yet, he still suffered for them. He still loves them. Even those who were killing him, he plead on their behalf.
That made me feel pretty pathetic. I get annoyed and disgruntled about someone snubbing me and life as I know it has crumbled.
But our Savior could forgive something so incomprehensible.
I also thought of those people who forgive terrible trespasses on them. Heinous crimes that make people shutter thinking about and people have forgiven those that caused them.
How would I ever be able to forgive something major if I can't even forgive the small things?
Moreover, how can I expect my Savior to forgive me for the stupid things I do, if I can't forgive those around me for their mistakes?
I am so grateful for my Savior, who suffer pain, I will never understand, and allowed himself to be hung on a cross so that I could be forgiven for my sins and live again. He understands all pain and has so much empathy; there is nothing too minor.
I know when I cry out in anguish for the things I suffer through that I am never alone. What a beautiful and humbling thing to know.
Here the One perfect Being that ever walked the earth that suffered the ultimate pain, would care about someone who would seem so insignificant to most; and have mercy on her.
