Yesterday was day three of the Love Dare.
Day 3: Ask him what makes him feel needed and loved. Let him talk without interfering. Take mental notes of what he says and try to remember them from now on.
So I waited till last night at 10 pm to ask him this. We had a great conversation and he seemed really excited that I was generally interested in what he had to say. I learned a lot. Though I am not sharing all we talked about I realized the key point that I already knew but just figured out how to implement.
We all have a tendency to love as we would like to be loved. The key is to love the person how THEY want to be loved.
Again this is probably something most people have figured out. It only took me what 7 years to get it? Oh well. Better late than never I suppose.
But in this wisdom lies a golden nugget. The key to happiness. If your spouse feels that you care about their feelings even more than your own --wouldn't it be that much easier for them to care about your feelings more than their own? I believe so. I have to be less worried about me and more concerned about him. If I worry about his feelings than most likely he will worry about mine. Therefore everyone wins!
Instead of a struggle between whose feelings matter more it is an offering of self sacrifice and working together for the greater good -- your relationship.
I am preaching here and will stop now. But it was just something that occurred to me last night while I was missing some precious Zzz. But well worth the lack of sleep!
