Ten months...this would be your milestone today. I spent the day playing with your brother and sister. I miss you terribly. Emmy found Bryce's baby blanket today. Bryce assured me that your blanket looked just like his. I know how much he loves you and thinks about you.As Bryce goes off to school, please watch out for your big brother. I hate to see him go. I have major attachment issues now. I don't want to say goodbye to the time together we have had. We could go anywhere and do anything...no schedules.
Today I sat on the couch and glanced at the empty rocking chair I bought for your arrival. I pictured holding your chubby body in my arms and smiling down at you as we rocked. Your blue? eyes looking up at me. (Maybe your dad's beautiful aqua eyes) Even though sometimes it hurts my heart to see that chair, I can't get rid of it...I was so excited to have it...to share it with you. Someday, maybe I will rock your little brother or sister in it...and think of you.
I watched a show where a dad was sweetly talking to his little boy. I almost forget that babies are that cute. I usually zone out around babies so I don't hurt too bad, but every once I watch a sweet little baby and it's almost too much. How did I not notice how precious they are before? Maybe it has been enough years I don't remember, but just even baby movements are an amazing sight. I'm sure it is due to my inability to see you move, smile, or anything.
Well my precious boy, I probably should close before I start sobbing uncontrollably. I am thinking about you tonight and aching for you. How close we are to a year...it almost make me ill that it has been that long. You'll always seem like a tiny baby to me.
Say hi to Grandpa for me...I miss you both very much!
always,
Mommy