Tears stung my eyes and I had to place my hand over my mouth to stifle any screams that may escape.
Clutching a blanket...the blanket...that soft reminder that my baby really did reside here for a brief moment. I didn't know if it would be enough this time.
Finally I calmed and sleep came somehow. The morning came as it always does.
I stumbled to the bathroom mirror where my eyes resembled small marshmallows more than eyes. How was I going to pull myself together for my 6 year old's birthday party?
I did.
I pushed through and felt actually good.
I was even laughing as my sister and I picked out party decorations with my mom. Her cell phone rang...I was showing Karrey something. Then I heard the words I had been dreading...
My uncle, who is more the age of a cousin, being only two years older than my sister, had his first baby last Tuesday...he was three months early. He was breathing...his heart was beating...I hoped. Not again...please not again...
Saturday, he passed after sharing time with his sweet parents. He fought hard, but it was just too much for a sweet tiny body to endure.
I threw whatever was in my hand back into the shelf and burst into tears. Not again!!! Two babies in my family in 8 months! What was going on?! The world seemed upside down. I had just been mourning my sweet boy the night before...now my uncle and his wife were mourning theirs.
My heart breaks for them...saying goodbye just as hello was said.
I decorated Declan's grave twice since I have been here. I was able on Memorial day to visit Christian's grandparents' graves. It has been an emotional few weeks.
