It is hard to be heard when a whisper is all to be mustered. My voice is very quiet and sadly weak. I always lose my voice when I get any kind of cold. I'd like to say since my voice is typically quiet I never raise my voice to my family. That would be a lie. I don't know why, but I constantly have to change my tone. I am a "stern" speaker. I holler up to my kids instead of going up and getting them. I get way too frustrated and express it loudly. This is something to work on....
Now as I am whispering to my kids they are actually listening. How can they even hear me over all the crazy loudness? I'm not sure to be honest. But it has made me think twice about my need to speak so harshly to my kids. I just whispered up to Bryce, who sometimes I have to beg six times before he listens to me, and he heard me and acted. Maybe it had nothing to do with hearing and everything to do with wanting to hear me. Do I talk in one tone that causes my kids to tune me out? Probably.
It is strange to be grateful to lose your voice. It is actually really frustrating to not be able to pick up the phone and call, to not be able to participate in a class, or greet people the way I would like. However it teaches me how I can better communicate with my sweet family.
Christian and I are taking a class at church that is to help strengthen families. My favorite quote, that I seriously am thinking of posting in almost every room of my house, was given by President David O. McKay (our prophet 1951-1970) "Let husband and wife never speak in loud tones to each other, 'Unless the house is on fire'" (Stepping Stones to an Abundant Life, Llewelyn R McKay, 294).
I couldn't help laughing when I read that quote...I love the sentiment. I think that is the way I would like to speak in general, not only to Christian, but everyone that comes in my path. Is it necessary to lose control and holler at people? I dare say no. In a world where anything goes, I don't think we need to yell and scream to be heard. The most profound things ever communicated to me, were never yelled at me. I know I have been guilty of throwing absolute childish tantrums. Yelling and screaming because I felt misunderstood. I know we are suppose to be childlike, but not childish. Declaring one's frustrations doesn't require our voice to raise or our tone to become lethal.
The most interesting part is that my children will whisper back. They mimic me. I knew this before, but as my children squabble with one another I think about why that is and sometimes I worry it is the way I've taught them to speak to one another. It is contagious. Children can't help but act like the people they look up to and are around the most. I have small children and I probably flatter myself, but I am really all they have. They aren't in school yet and to the age where friends are more important than parents. They still want to be like me...someday I hope they aren't sad that they have become like me whether they meant to or not. I want to be a controlled communicator...to temper my emotions so that I can still express the way I feel without flying off the handle blurting out ridiculous and hurtful words. This is something that I'm working on...it will take a lifetime to perfect, but I hope as I try to be better that I can receive blessings to keep me encouraged to continue to be in control of what crosses my lips so that I don't have to wince and replay each mean and nasty word I let slip passed them.
