Yesterday I started cry in church because I had shared my testimony. As I returned to my seat my sweet little Emmy wrapped her arm around me and kissed me on the cheek. She is such a little nurturer. I was so touched I almost started to cry again. She knows just what I need. It amazes me she is only two, but she seems to understand much beyond her years.
My mother and father in-law came for New Years. They brought with them our Christmas gifts. They had a talented artist draw Declan in the Savior's arms. She also just drew Declan alone. The are such precious gifts. I have been contemplating where to put them in my home so that we can enjoy them.
This year my New Year's goals are to make weaknesses strengths through the help of my Savior. There are a few things that I have not been good at, but I want change that. I am very grateful for the chances I've been given to change and make myself better. It is never too late to make a change. As long as we commit our heart to progressing and bettering ourselves, I believe that there is a lot of grace given. Even when we don't try as hard as we could I still believe there are opportunities given to do so.
What an amazing gift we have been given to make new beginnings. This year I have dedicated myself to improving myself in all aspects: physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I have very attainable goals and a drive to complete them that I never have had before. Declan has given me the best Christmas gift I could have asked for, a strength and determination to change so I can be reunited with him one day.
I love my Heavenly Father and Savior so much and I know They are aware of me and my struggles. Each day I try to think how They have blessed my life. I hope that continues on my journey here on earth. I truly am blessed. Though it is hard to be separated from Declan, I have felt such an outpouring of blessings. I wonder sometimes if our family will be blessed in ways that we couldn't have in the same way if we were allowed to keep Declan with us. Declan can be with us at times and ways that he could not if he were still in his mortal body. I'd like to think that he will be with us through our hard times - especially my kids. I know Christian felt him very strongly as he struggled to finish his marathon.
Happy New Year and here's to new beginnings!
