Today in church I went to a different Sunday school lesson than I was planning. It was a great lesson. The instructor talked about our thoughts can dictate results. If we have negative thoughts than of course we are going to have negative results. As someone who has typically been a pessimist I found this very interesting.
I have mentioned before that I plan on making weak things strong this year. I don't have set things I want to work on, but rather when I see a weakness in myself I place it on my improve list. For example, I am really bad at public speaking. So I have been trying to speak up in church every week. Anything that I do is an improvement compared to what I was doing.
Another thing that I have been working on is my inability to keep plants alive. That one is just silly, but I seriously kill every living thing in our house except my family and dog. I love plants, but can't seem to water them correctly. So I planted some seeds and so far my seedlings are thriving. I am quite excited. I watch their progression and it makes me think about the growth I have made these last few months. I don't even recognize myself anymore. I am not really the person I was before I had Declan. I hope that I am a better version of that Christy.
Finally, the other thing that I feel like sharing, for I have others that I will keep to myself, is my running. I have never enjoyed running. I could do it, but always rather not. Now I love it. It is difficult to find time and with Christian's work schedule it makes it challenging, but the other day I was fed up with not being able to go so I set my kitchen timer and ran up and down inside my house. I am sure if someone saw me they would think I had lost my mind, but it was actually a pretty good workout. Christian told me that he did that when he was younger and that made me laugh. I have been surprised by my dedication to running. I always told myself that I couldn't run and of course then I crippled myself from success. Now I tell myself I can and I really think I can.
This is the new year to make my weaknesses strengths. I have so many things to work on, but if I can start chipping away at them maybe by the time my earthly visit is over I will have accomplished most of what I set out to do. I know we will all fall short, for there was only one that came here perfect and remained so. But I want to be actively pursuing to improve every year. I cannot stand still any longer, it isn't an option.
I know that I can accomplish what I have set out to do if I rely on the one who can accomplish anything. He can show me how I can be better. I have been stretched in ways that I may have resisted in the past and still continue to struggle, but I have the desire to be pliable. I don't want to be brittle so when something hard comes along I snap in half and have to find a way to mend myself. I want to expand instead, so that at the end of my life I don't look back with a whole lot of regret.
