I went through the box of momentos of Declan yesterday. I organized and found things I forgot were in there. I was given the box in the hospital and I have cherished it greatly. Inside was a CD of songs that I am listening to right now. It has been difficult for me to think of listening to it until yesterday.
I placed his little outfit he wore in the hospital inside the box. It is on top of several cards we were sentr, a bracelet I recieved, the little bag that his engraved bracelet once resided, and a medal of the marathon that Christian got for finishing his marathon.
Christian ran a marathon with Declan's little footprints on his shirt. During the race Christian was injured but he continued to run because he was knew once he started to walk it was over and would never run again in the race. As the time became longer and longer I worried something bad happened to him. I really started to worry once another half an hour went by and Christian had not finished the race. I hurried with my kids and mother-in-law into the car to go find him. I got a call a few minutes later from my father-in-law that he had finished. My heart broke I had missed him coming in. He had eventually had to stop running the last 5k and slowly crossed the finish line (I saw the video of it later). I was so proud that he finished even though all odds were against him. I knew he was so discouraged especially after losing Declan, this was exceptionally painful. I placed his medal in Declan's box to remember Christian's determination to endure to the end - which I hope we can implement in our lives as well.
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| My older sister and little sister |
I wish my sister a very Happy Birthday! I am so proud of the woman she is becoming. I can't believe how time has flown. I still remember when she came home from the hospital. I remember my mom telling me not to pick her up when she left me alone in a room with her, but I would sneak and pick her up anyway. I was mystified by the little creature that had entered my home. There was a part of me that had been jealous of her, but a lot of me was intrigued by the tiny baby. She was beautiful with dark curls and big brown eyes. I adored her, though I don't think she knew that. I think that was when I started to loved babies (but for some reason I never realized it until I had my own). I think about the time with much more affection than ever. Just like my littlest sister, she was born early, luckily not as early as Kaeley, but still another little miracle. I was almost seven and I remember my older sister and I loved to just watch her as she did things.
I wait for the day my children get to welcome a baby home. Emmy wanted to be a big sister so bad. She loves babies so much. It breaks my heart that she did not get to dote on Declan the way she wanted. I know Bryce was looking forward to having a brother. He loves Emmy dearly, but I think he was looking forward to having another boy in the house.