I went to our grocery store today. It was a typical shopping trip. Bryce and Emma begged for food I did not intend on getting. I had to tell Bryce to stop playing around and not knock over the elderly ladies near him.
I got everything I needed and then got in line. I decided to pick the line with a couple that had a huge grocery cart full. I waited for a long time and then saw that the line to the left was open. So I steered my cart over to that line.
The cashier greeted us happily. We have gotten to know her well over our many visits. She started talking about Emma actually being awake for this shopping trip. I laughed and started to grab my wallet out of my purse.
As I pulled out my card and was about to slide it she asked about the baby - for she had known I was pregnant not long ago.
My heart started to pound and I didn't want to tell yet another person that my baby was dead. I looked at her and said simply, "He didn't make it."
Her face fell and she uttered an apology. She said that's hard and that she too had lost a baby in July. I looked at the beautiful woman in front of me and told her how sorry I was. She explained that she has been trying and still unsuccessful to have any living children.
She pointed out that I have two beautiful living children. I smiled sadly thinking of the beautiful one that I buried.
As I wrapped up my visit with her she came over and hugged me. She told me that she was sorry again and I her. I don't think she'll ever know how much that meant to me. I was just some random customer that she would chat with as she scanned my groceries. But she somehow reached passed her job and saw the hurting person in her line.
It inspired me. I have never been one to hug others. But I am impressed with those who have reached out to me and hugged me telling me just a simple, "I'm so sorry."
My heart hurt for her as I thought of going home with my two kids. How long she had waited to be a mother and have someone to fuss over. I have no idea how that completely feels. I lost Declan after having two children, so for me it is different. I can't imagine coming home from a doctor's appointment or the hospital with empty arms and an empty house.
Some people are given such difficult trials to bear - especially when it comes to parenthood. As my heart aches for my sweet little boy I know so many others that have never known the joy of holding their own child. My mind can't fathom that pain but my heart can only imagine.
A sweet cashier reached out to me even through her own pain. As much as I wish there will be no more members of what my friend refers to as the "club" that no one wants to be apart of, I know that there will. I hope I can see other's pain and not just mine.
