A better mom...

I have mentioned, probably too many times, that I am not someone who aspired to be a mom.  After Bryce was born I don't think I handled the change to motherhood with much grace.  I have always loved my kids, but I was short tempered and easily annoyed.

When Emmy came to our family I was shocked that I had actually learned something along the way.  She seemed extremely easy to me - and for the most part still does.

Then I got pregnant with Declan and my patience was pretty much extinct.  I was snapping and irritable all the time.  I blamed the heat, my diabetes, and pretty much anything I could.

Right after Declan came and left I was much more patient, but now reality has set in and I find myself more overwhelmed being a mom than ever.  I'm sure my grief has something to do with that.  I do find myself holding back my frustration much better than before.  But I still need work.

I have a desire to be a much better mom and wife from now on.  I just hope that I am up for the challenge.  I know Heavenly Father wants me to better myself - not fall into an abyss and never progress.  So I need to be extremely prayerful since I know I cannot do any of this alone.

How grateful I am for the knowledge of a loving Heavenly Father and a Saviour that would not only suffer for my sins but all my pain - never leaving me to suffer trials alone.


Pictures in the hospital with each of my babies (Keep in mind they are hospital pictures):



Newborn Bryce



Newborn Emma



Declan