I love this Christmas Season, as always people are much more giving and loving. But this year is a little sweeter than usual. I am so blessed and I'm actually noticing. I have been so selfish and spoiled all these years. I had everything and acknowledged nothing. This year money is tight and Christian and I have been getting creative about how to make ends meet. We have had to go without a lot of wants and even a few needs. But it has been the best thing for me. I have realized how it is for those who cannot provide for their families and how frightening it is. Even though we miraculously make it each month we've had a few close calls. We almost were not able to go get groceries before Christian was supposed to go out of town and since we only have one car that would have been terrible. But our check came in the mail uncharacteristically early. I almost burst into tears when I saw that check in my hand when we went to the mailbox. How much I have relied on the Lord lately!
This Christmas I wanted desperately to go up and see my family. But money was too tight to make the journey. So I had decided that it was fine and we would make the most out of being here. Then my sister called and offered the money that my grandparents sent to my parents to get us all gifts for gas money. I felt selfish for taking it and even declined it. But we have since accepted it. I even had another sister and brother-in-law offer to help us with gas money. How grateful I am for a loving family that helps each other out.
I am so grateful for my family and as I have to be more creative about Christmas gifts this year, it has made me better. I have put more thought in each gift. Each gift I have for my children is just as exciting for me to be able to give. Last year Christian was ready to go out shopping on Christmas Eve for my gifts and I begged him not to. He felt terrible for not giving me anything, but I told him that I didn't want anything - just him to be there. It was really good for me and I didn't even feel left out. This year we both are forgoing gifts so our kids can have Christmas. I'm still giving Christian a gift, but I haven't spend a dime on it. It has been the most amazing Christmas season!
I sat down and told my oldest about why we have Christmas and he was enthralled that Jesus was once a baby. He kept asking who his mom was. I informed him that it was Mary. He was so excited to learn all the details and I tried hard to tell him in a way that a four year old could actually understand. How grateful I am for the Christmas season to reflect on how much we have been given and how we can help others around us. I just hope I can have a giving spirit all year round.