Day 10: Help in some way with his work. Acknowledge your appreciation for all he does supporting the family financially. Look for an opportunity to help him.
Day 11: Write a letter expressing your love for him. Let him know of the way you feel about him. What he has been to you.
Day 12: Get up with kids and do not let them disturb him from sleeping. Make sure he is comfortable and the kids are quiet.
Day 13: Try to not complain about anything the kids do to him. Instead try to think of positive things the kids have done. Remember that people want to hear the good things in life more than the bad!
Day 14: Make sure the house is happy and the kids are ready for church on time. Do not be late and have everything set out for him. Let him leisurely get ready. But give yourself plenty of time to get everyone ready.
Day 15: Make sure the house is spotless for him when he gets home. Have a general feeling of cheerfulness. Do no complain if the house gets messed up. Make sure that you do not pat yourself on the back for doing the cleaning. Make it about him and making his day less complicated and less about you and your sacrifice.
Day 16: Find out what he finds a wonderful service he would enjoy. Fulfill as best you can.
Day 17: Read several scriptures about marriage and some articles. Share then with him and tell him how you feel about them. Ask for his thoughts.
So I have not been writing about my days very well. I slip into selfish mode sometimes because I am so tired from waking up with my daughter at least four times a night. But still there is no excuse for being a slacker! I have got to start jumping back on the wagon. :)
Today is Day 17. I have been reading scriptures about marriage. I then turned to articles on the subject and found one from Russel M Nelson. (An apostle of our church) Here is the full article if you wish to read it in its entirety.
The title itself, "Nurturing Marriage" is inspiring. To nurture is an ACT not something you merely hope will be great. Idiotically I never understood that concept until now.
What really stood out to me in this article was his "three action verbs: to APPRECIATE, to COMMUNICATE, and to CONTEMPLATE."
He mentions telling each other "thank you" and "I love you." Of course that should be elementary but in the scuffle of life sometimes the soft sweet words are thrown aside and replaced with harsh annoyed tones. I have been trying to do this in my life lately. I do not want to be remembered as the mother or wife that could not speak in anyway but angrily. I definitely appreciate Christian and need to tell him so.
Communication I have learned is essential in life -- not only with our spouse but in every relationship! I am the worlds worst communicator! I did not develop good communicating skills till after I went to college and really after I got married. Christian patiently tried to teach me how to express myself in the right way. My tendency is putting up a wall, exploding when someone evades that wall, and being unreasonable once the wall is pulled down. It has taken many years to get to the point where I can have a reasonable conversation without blowing my top every time. I still have much to work on, but I am grateful for a loving and sweet husband that patiently waits for me to grasp understanding.
Finally, contemplate is the last verb. I love those moments when I have an "aha!" moment in spiritual things or in my marriage. Lately I feel since I started this Love Dare I have been having a lot more of those moments. I seem to grasp concepts better. I am much more teachable. The minute I become selfish the door closes and no longer feel the spirit shining on me and uplifting my soul -- making it much harder to seek for understanding.
My favorite part of this whole article was a song that he shared and it concluded his article and I will have it conclude my post. It is called "Because."
"Because you come to me with naught save love,
And hold my hand and lift mine eyes above,
A wider world of hope and joy I see,
Because you come to me.
Because you speak to me in accents sweet,
I find the roses waking round my feet,
And I am led through tears and joy to thee,
Because you speak to me.
Because God made thee mine, I’ll cherish thee
Through light and darkness, through all time to be,
And pray His love may make our love divine,
Because God made thee mine."
-Edward Teschemacher (1902)
