It was a fantastic trip. We got some sun, relaxed (as much as you can with 11 kids running around like crazy), and just enjoyed laughing together.
Every once in a while a pang...
I went to leave the large group to go to our room and looked at my two kids and felt I was forgetting someone. *Pang* Declan's missing.
In a crowd of people...feeling odd that it is so easy to watch my two kids when it should be a crazy juggling act...with a baby, toddler, and 6 year old.
I was grateful though. No tears. It was only a momentary sadness and I rebounded quite well.
I tried very hard not to think too much about watching my niece trying to take a few steps. I kept reminding myself...it's okay, he wouldn't be walking yet anyway. I repeated that over and over in my mind. Then the feeling passed and I continued to talk to my sister-in-law.
It gave me hope that I can continue on the path of healing and one day it will just be sweet feelings...no more pangs of the heart.
My adorable niece and Emmy
